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A change in direction for me

All the best with your writing future David.

Thanks guys, you may not think the same when you read some of my stuff.  It is pretty gory. But life was in 1685

Here's the new intro - you have been warned.

September 8th 1685 ‘The Bloody Assize’ in the city of Bath.

I am  Lieutenant Michael Fane of the Royal Lifeguards I am charged with Murder and High Treason. This is my nineteenth year and I am in mortal dread of what will happen to me within just a few short hours.  My jailors have continuously taunted me with the tales of others who have suffered their fate at the hands of the infamous 1st Baron of Wem the Lord Chancellor Judge George Jeffreys. Yesterday I and my fellow inmates had heard the screams of brave men as they were hanged briefly, only then to be revived on the gibbet by a foul concoction of vinegar and stale wine forced down their opened gullets. We could hear their ‘splutters and gasps for air’ over the hushed crowds. Then by the heart rendering screams as they had their stomachs slashed open twice with a cleave followed by a large disgusting hook forced into their living entrails and entangled between the two cuts. These poor wretches were then ignominiously hoisted up on a block and tackle; there to dangle screaming and sobbing before the crowds of cheering, hissing or booing onlookers.  After being left hanging by their guts and flesh for five or more minutes they were then lowered onto filthy blood drenched butchers blocks for dismemberment.  We heard the excruciating screams of agony and the rasp of the saw edge as it chewed its way through bone and muscle as limbs were sawn off and thrown casually to the King’s hounds that barked and scrapped over the bloody objects.  The masked executioners went busily about their evil business whilst the women would weep and wail.  Whereas the menfolk drank ale and cider in the local taverns joking and laying wagers on who would last the longest or scream the loudest.  All of these events were relayed to us from our jailors who were standing perched on ramparts above our heads peering through the open windows.  “Your turn tomorrow lads, sleep well tonight!”  Was called out time and time again. The lesser offenders were simply hung and left swaying.  Some militia took advantage of the opportunity to practice with the bayonet or musket on the dangling targets.
Dozens of market stalls surrounded the death mound; crowds had come from far and wide to witness the barbaric spectacle.  We could hear the jesters taunt the audience and the minstrels singing their ballads of death and torture.
My fate may be even worse than it had been for them!  I was to be the last case to be heard before the ‘hanging judge’ and as my charges were so severe, I was distraught in sofar as that I had been allowed no counsel and no communications allowed in or out.  My friends had all deserted me.  I had been given a separate cell on this my last morning on earth.  One kindly jailor Ned Turner had had his wife clean my clothes for me.  I was given parchments; a quill and some ink contained in a small metal well and had been ordered to write my confessions.  I had refused a brief visit from a priest, as I am not of the Catholic faith.  Most Protestant ministers have been banished or executed following the Monmouth Rebellion. 

LOL - years ago in Madame Tassauds there was a wax figure of a guy dangling from the draw with the hook in place - I guess it sort of stayed in my memory - I was about 8 when I saw it. I think afterwards we probably experimented with the year below us.

Oh, I've left the worst out - you know the expression 'Make a wish' - well it had nothing to do with chickens - one guy, two horses. The expression 'split the difference' came from it.

Sorry to hear the news David but good luck with your 'new' career.

I look forward to working with Dan and hopefully with his input we might see TIP continue to evolve and expand. Look forward to hearing his thoughts and ideas. I'll make the neccessary MOD and ADMIN status amendments.

Bonne chance David  

Don't forget the merchandising, DVDs, iTunes,
action figures, fantasy chess sets...... and
even selling hardcopy editions with built-in
coffee tables.

Seriously though, from personal experience of
what is laughingly called retirement, go to
any lengths to schedule things so that you
also have a life. Yes indeedy!!!!!

Work is the downfall of the drinking classes!

Thanks Guys - Well the USA refused the bail out - there's a surprise.  Like I predicted  October will be the melt down.